Thursday, September 10, 2009

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Step 10: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."


Many of us come to Community Love, after many years of trying to find quick solutions to our problems of ego. One aspect of this program that keeps us here is the promise of "permanent recovery of this puzzling disease. But .. What in the world that lasts forever? On page 204 of our book "Just for today" we read: "Repetition is the only form of permanence that nature can achieve." If you want to experience permanent recovery from compulsive aspects of the ego, we have to repeat every day, the actions we have produced so much healing.

Through the first nine steps of our program, we have initiated an entirely new way of living that is leading us from the swamp of compulsion, the bedrock of a healthy way of living. Although, initially the main purpose of the Nine Steps was to help clean up the ruins of the past, work has allowed us to lay a new foundation for the future. These new patterns of behavior allow us to progress, grow spiritually and be happy without the excesses of ego. Step Ten daily urges us to repeat these attitudes, according to new molds so that we can experience recovery every day.

The Tenth Step begins with the word "continue" so we understand that perseverance is the main key of our Recovery Program. In the past it is likely that we had clung stubbornly to the self destructive behavior. Now, we must be stubborn for the program to work even during those periods when they feel it does not work, or that we are not recovering fast enough. The obstinacy so employed, becomes perseverance as day to day continue to apply the principles learned in Step One through nine in our lives.


In Step Four, for example, learned to make our moral inventory fearlessly and honestly look at ourselves and recognize our strengths and weaknesses. The Tenth Step asks us to continue daily practice. The objective of the Tenth step is to help remove every day of our road, rocks, obstacles, the manifestations of pride, anger, self-pity, greed and other emotions that cause us pain and prevent us from growing today.

We found that all, inevitably, we have these feelings and to deny or ignore only make things worse. The Tenth Step allows us to recognize our emotions and feel pain despite that cause us to let go and hand in God's hands, so we recover our stability emotional.

Five steps in the Nine, we ventured "out" away from our loneliness we share our experiences with God and others. Most of us had spent his life before Community Love trying to do everything alone. To the extent that we discover how much work the steps get help and healing by connecting with God and with those who share our lives. The Tenth Step helps us to strengthen this connection.

There are many ways to make a personal inventory. The simplest is the mental, some veterans in the Twelve Step programs are so used to this practice that the self-analysis becomes for them a second nature. Fast and casual inventory facts when faced difficulties, learn to do in a few minutes of silent reflection whenever the occasion arises. With practice it becomes increasingly easy to identify the exact nature of our problems. We can see what kind of actions to be taken to restore our calm, and we carry them out quickly, as recommended by the Tenth Step.

We may have forgotten the decision at Step Three, and we are trying to control some aspect of our lives with our own will. Necesítenos may discuss the problem, you may need to ask God to remove defective character or may have harmed someone and we owe amendment. Once we begin to practice this healthy con-duct to analyze and act when we are disturbed we become a habit. We discovered that we have learned an extraordinary set of skills-ties for a successful life.

Where necessary more than a simple check of inventory, some of us have found it very beneficial to write a Tenth Step inventory. Anchoring a role conflicting feelings and thoughts, or describe situations or incidents that cause us problems, it helps us better understand our actions and reactions, in a special way that would not get by simply thinking or talking about them. When we wrote our difficulties become easier to see situations clearly. We probably have a better insight about the actions that must be taken.

Some of us become a daily habit to review our emotions and behavior of the last twenty-four hours. We can do a daily inventory, written or mental, which is more convenient and thorough than the simple check of the time and occasion. The purpose of this is that we are revealed the areas where we are having difficulties in daily life, and help us decide what we can do about it. Also allows us to perceive of what they is not going well, and what we should be grateful.

There are many ways in which the inventory can be done daily. Some simply review the day's major events in chronological order, focusing on our feelings and how to manage them. Others decide to make a spreadsheet noting the situations and feelings on one side positive and negative situations and feelings in the other. We can also draw up a common list of character flaws and their opposite virtues, such as fear / faith, resentment / acceptance, greed / generosity, etc.

Concerning this list, we get questions like, "What fears experienced today and how I reacted against them? Then we list or remember those moments when we realized that our ancient shortcomings had been removed, to act when moved by faith to accept and forgive when leaving our grievances, when we act with generosity, or when we show other positive character traits .

our daily inventory When you want to be increasingly aware of our true motivations and emotions. We examine our actions, so we can learn from our mistakes and build on our successes. Our purpose is not to remove the guilt and feelings negative, but further progress along the path of progress and recognize areas of our life where we have managed to recover.

Having made our daily inventory, we can move towards the second part of Step Ten says: "And when we were wrong promptly admitted it." This small and simple clause implies that we will have the opportunity to do more than simply looking at our strengths and weaknesses.

We make the same operation we carry within our character defects discovered in our moral inventory of Step Four: I talked to God and maybe with someone, we give the faults to God, asking we remove them, and make amendments where necessary. Some members of Community Love called her sponsor daily and discussed with him the Tenth Step inventory. They talk about their successes and failures with God through prayer, praying daily the necessary assistance to flee their defects and expressing gratitude to discover they already have been removed or resolved problems.

is inevitable that sometimes make mistakes and dañemos to someone else. Step Ten suggests that we amend promptly as fast as we realize they have hurt someone. In doing so, a new form of honesty permeates our relationships. We found that we can save many days of fear and resentment, to resolve disputes as they arise, rather than allowing wounds to be doing more deep.

The Tenth Step inventory may be longer still, like we did in Step Four, but dealing with problems that we were not aware when we take that step. Reinvent the necessary aspects of our past does not mean that we failed to adequately do the Fourth Step. It simply demonstrates that the awareness of ourselves has grown and now we are ready to face and deal with aspects of our lives we could not cope in the first inventory. Each of us is an individual with individuals, and no two people who come and work in the same way this program.

A Step Ten extensive inventory could be focused on a particular character flaw, a pattern of conduct, or a special area of \u200b\u200blife. Probably wish to write this inventory as we did in Step Four, certainly we will want to finish taking immediate action. As soon as possible we will deliver it to someone else right away, repeat the actions taken after the Steps Six and Seven, asking God to heal our wounds, remove the defects we found in our new research and help us change our behavior. We end this set of actions by making a list of amendments related to the events listed in our inventory.

persistent effort will be required to leave our faults and change our attitudes, but since it is now crucial to our recovery. To the extent that we realize our shortcomings through the inventory, we can do several things to get rid of them. One is, in imagine how we would behave if we had some defect in particular. We represent situations where we have reacted from the defect, only now imagining that we act as if we were not.

Anything we can think done with the help of God. We can talk about using new words, or use a different set of behavior and practice. Through such actions, we are convinced that every day, with God's help, we can change and we are indeed changing. At first, we are likely to relapse into old patterns from past to be under pressure, but do not let this discouraged us.

We have spent a lifetime behaving in these ways, therefore, we felt comfortable and natural. But as time goes on, God will help us free ourselves of our flaws, replacing them with positive habits of thought and action. God will do if we, of course, persist in doing everything possible to change.

As the fourth step, the Tenth Step inventory can reveal aspects of our past in which professional help is needed. Community Our friends are loving and compassionate love, but few are trained to recognize and treat psychological problems deep-rooted, therefore, the Community Love is not the place to find such help.

As you work the Tenth Step, we begin to discover the extraordinary ways in which the steps from now, will continue removing unnecessary pain and turmoil of our lives. The new attitudes of honesty about our problems and our attitude of surrender and devotion to God have now become part of us. They are the foundation upon which any decision we make every day of our lives.

analyze our recent performance, keeping God in control of our lives, asking for help and guidance, and admit our mistakes immediately, turning into a healthy and satisfying way of life, much better than that in which we fed our fears or abanderábamos a fresh set of grievances. Forced to adopt this new way of facing life in order to recover from the eating disorder, we are grateful for found the program.

Practice Programme has not granted many blessings, same as we can not change again for the quick and easy solutions to each new formula provides our act compulsively. Missing even more blessings to come, as we continue to work the program, and experiencing the miracle of permanent recovery one day at a time.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

How To Soften Handkerchiefs

Step 9.

"direct amends to such people wherever possible, the damage they had caused, except in cases where doing so would harm themselves or others." To

many members of CA, the Ninth Step is the more surprising of the twelve. Before practicing this step, most frightens us thought of approaching each of the persons we had harmed, openly acknowledging our mistakes, and put to work repairing the damage caused, or pay the toll. After repairing the damage, however, those of us who dared to do so, we had to sing praises. This step has freed us from the burdens and past mistakes in a miraculous way. Our lives have changed, our broken relationships have been fixed and the ill will that poisoned our hearts for years has been washed.

Those of us who still do not practice the Ninth Step, and must have heard of the benefits provided to those who have completed. However, our fears can force us to postpone it. We are warned that delay could repair the damage and threatening to paralyze our recovery from compulsive activities of the ego. At the time of feeling "ready" to practice Step Eight we must move quickly to take advantage of the "disposition".

On the other hand, it is necessary to use common sense when working this step. Step Nine specifically warns us about the danger of doing more harm than good to deal with and talk with people about situations painful past. That is why it is advisable to discuss before the steps we are willing to give, to a person familiar with the lifestyle of the Twelve Steps. It is necessary to discuss any concerns or questions about how to proceed reviewing our words and attitudes over time and with someone more experienced than us, someone who is not involved in the problem, which is detached.

Our sponsors probably remind us that the purpose of the Ninth Pass is free of guilt and ill will so that we can build better relationships with the people we contact. In most cases all you have to do is say " 'm sorry. " To fix our mistakes will be necessary to recognize the specific damage done, apologize for it, make appropriate restitution and change our behavior toward them in the future.

Before amending our mistakes, we must abandon any expectation that we have as to how the other person will receive. In most cases we will be treated in better shape than we expected. Sometimes people do not even recall that damaged them. Others refuse to accept our apologies, but this is rather rare, and some others do not want to accept our refund. If this happens, we leave the person without feeling resentment. We can not control the way that our amendments are received.

They are entitled to continue upset with us for the rest of life if they so wish. They are not obliged to forgive and we do not need to complete the Ninth Step and recover. Our only job is to clean the side of the street that corresponds to the time to straighten our actions wrong. Once we have done this and we have no reason to feel guilt or anger in any way by these situations. Clean

our side of the street requires us to be direct and honest in our approach to the people we have hurt. We may feel tempted to act only vaguely mentioning past our regret for what happened. Sometimes special cases and thus may work, but in most circumstances a slight verbal apology on our part will not show true sincerity. We must remember that people suffered our sins deserve a complete and total satisfaction of our misguided actions.

At the same time, it must try to present our apologies for the simplest way possible, to avoid overstressing facts and details that could reopen old wounds. Of course we will avoid mentioning anything they have done to provoke even when we felt that what they did was far worse than our own errors. Having forgiven these people in the Eighth Step, now we merely express our repentance in a simple way for things we did to hurt them. Avoiding large give excuses, dramatize, or engage in minute details of the events surrounding our actions.

could say something like this: "Mrs. Jones, stole money from his drawer a few times while working with you last summer. I feel very sorry for my dishonesty. " Or "John, I realize that I have acquired the habit of lowering yourself and I apologize for that. It was not right for me to treat you this way. "

Most times we do well to warn people with whom we amendments, the kinds of changes and refunds are trying to do with others to provide us with the opportunity to correct our mistakes. If you have harmed someone physically or materially, if we have stolen or damaged property, if we have caused economic damage, should pay or make arrangements to pay the money they owe. If we told a lie to someone, that should fix it unless we were going to cause more damage to it. Amend

something means to change. We completed our damage repair our wrong acts from the past to change our actions in the future. This is especially important to correct our mistakes for us and for those whom we hurt with our patterns often misguided behavior. We owe it to these people "living satisfaction." The words I say will not be anywhere near half as important as the attitudes that now employ them. Nothing would serve our apologies if again smite them with our actions. Our words would be hollow and further increase the already great damage in our relationships. Only a permanent change in our attitudes harmful can heal and heal the wounds that we love about the past.

These are the direct actions will be taken in cases where it is not possible to repair the damage: Some people on our list we can not find them. Present our apologies directly is not possible, but we can start doing so indirectly. For example, we can write the words I would say if you were to meet face to face. We recognize our mistake in writing and outline the strategy to fix the situation. As we move into the program continue to locate, determined to present our apologies in person once we find them. We were impressed by the sudden appearance before us in people who had been blind for years.

Some people in our Eighth Step list may already have died so that we can present our apologize personally. We have found that it still helps a lot to heal it indirectly. Again we write what we would say if we had them in front and they were alive. We read the letter aloud at some place that we remember his presence. We can restore part of our amendment making a donation to their favorite charity, helping a family member, or any other appropriate manner. Measure

should be the rule that governs us every time we should amend our errors, either directly or indirectly. Some amendments fall into the category for which it is best not to do them because the damage would be greater. For example, go and tell the wife (or) of someone who has had an affair with his consort, unless the person is already aware. It is good to remember that we repair the damage from our "actions" (or by our inaction when action was required) rather than by our "feelings." Approach someone and say "I ask an apology for how bad I've lost all these years" is not only appropriate, it'll hurt the person concerned. The proper way to repair five years of jealousy and hatred secret is to return them open with five years of acceptance, respect and love.

Some amendments will be made anonymously to prevent innocent persons from being damaged. But not repair the damage anonymously to avoid the embarrassment of doing it yourself, or rationalize that to repair the damage could hurt us financially or damage our self-esteem. By preventing the repair of damage, would deprive us of the total healing that comes from practicing Step Nine in full, so we would be making an injury instead of a favor.

If you really want to restructure our relationships with others, we must do everything we can to make things right with those we have hurt. We will have to do many things that we do not like to be able to correct our mistakes, but those who have gone through experience have found that this step is well worth the effort. After repairing the damage we discovered that we feel closer to God than ever before in the past. Having to act in a loving relationship with each of the people in our lives, spiritual awakening has become a reality. Wherever our forces have cleared the ruins of the past and now we are at peace with the world.

Now that we have completed the first nine steps, we can face the future with new confidence. We do not need the crutch of the ego because we have discovered a way of life that nourishes us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Our challenge now is to continue along this path under the guidance of the last three steps of our program of Twelve.

Step Nine.

"direct amends to such people wherever possible the damage they had caused, except in cases where doing so would harm themselves or others."

Asked to reflect on the Ninth Step.

1 .- What does it mean for you "direct repair"? How do you apply to keep your side of the street clean?

2 .- What fear have to do some of your repairs?

3 .- What fear makes you pass up the repair?

4 .- Reviewing your repairs to your sponsor you found any repair Inappropriate?

5 .- What are some of the changes you'll make in your attitude to make your repairs?

6 .- You have an example of how you will do your repairs?

7 .- There is in your list of repair people who died? In which way do your repair them?

8 .- You can share what I mean to repair your experience with your group?