Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Gislaved Nordfrost 5 Vs 3

Step 8. "We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to repair the damage they caused"

The Eighth and Ninth Step have to do with personal relationships. First, he cast a glance at our past and try to discover where we did some bad, and second, we make a determined effort to repair the damage we have caused, and third, having thus cleared the rubble of the past, we begin to consider how to engage with our newly acquired knowledge of ourselves, the best possible relations with all people we know.

What a task! Maybe we can do with increasing skill, without ever finishing it. Learning to live with a maximum of peace, cooperation and friendship with all men and women, whoever they are, is a moving and fascinating adventure. Each member of CA has found that can do almost no progress in this adventure until you go back and review, detailed and ruthlessly human waste left in its path. To some extent it has done to make your moral inventory, but now it's time to redouble their efforts to see how many people have been hurt and how. Reopening these emotional wounds, some old, some perhaps forgotten, and others still painfully festering, it may seem at first surgery unnecessary and useless. But if you start with good will, the great advantages of doing so is manifest so quickly that the pain will fade as they go fading one obstacle after another.

However, these obstacles are not doubt realities. The first and one of the most difficult to overcome has to do with forgiveness. As we began to think of a short or twisted relationship with other people, we get emotionally to the defensive. To avoid looking at the damage we have caused to another person, we resentfully focus on the evil we have done. We find it even easier to do if in fact this person is not always performed well. Triumphant, we hold on to your misconduct, making it the ideal pretext to minimize or ignore our own misconduct.

At this very moment we have to put on the brakes. It makes little sense when we are who we throw the first stone. Recall that the egoic not the only ones suffering from ill feelings. In addition, generally, is an undeniable fact that our behavior when we get carried away by the ego has aggravated the defects of others. Repeatedly we have exhausted the patience of our closest friends, and have sparked the worst in those we never had in high esteem. In many cases, we are actually dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose pains have increased. If we are now ready to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why not start forgiving them all?

In making the list of people who have offended, most of us run into another solid obstacle. We suffered a tremendous shock when we realized that we were ready to admit our bad behavior face to face with those they had harmed. Since we had been sufficiently embarrassed when confidence had admitted these things to God, to ourselves and to another human being. But the idea of \u200b\u200bgoing to visit or write to the affected people overwhelmed us, especially to remember the bad opinion they had of us for most of these people. There were also cases in which we hurt others who were living as happy without having any idea of \u200b\u200bthe damage they had caused. Why we protest, not saying "let bygones be bygones? Why do we have to get thinking about those people? These were some of the ways in which fear conspired with pride to stop to make a list of all persons we had harmed.

Some of us are very different with another obstacle. We clung to the idea that the only ones affected by our ego we were. Our families were not affected because they never ever did serious damage. Our co-workers were not harmed because we did not cause major problems. Our reputations are not were hurt because we were certain that very few people had noticed these defects of character. And those that had been set, reassured us by saying that a happy spree ego was but the little sin of a righteous man. Therefore, what had caused real damage? No doubt a few more than we could easily remedied some apologies made in passing.

This attitude, of course, is the end product of a deliberate effort to forget. That attitude can only be changed by a deep and sincere analysis of our motives and our actions.

in some cases we can not make any amendment, and in other cases it is advisable to postpone, we must, however, do a really thorough and comprehensive review of our past life to see how it has affected others. In many cases we see that, although the damage caused to others has not been very serious, the emotional damage we have done to ourselves has been enormous. Emotional conflicts, very deep, and sometimes completely forgotten, they persist unnoticed in the subconscious. These conflicts, caused, may have twisted our emotions so violently that since then have left stained our personalities and our lives have been disrupted.

Although the purpose of making amends to others is of paramount importance, it is also necessary that we remove the review of our personal relationships as much detailed information as possible about ourselves and our fundamental problems. Since faulty relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our suffering, including our egotism, no other field of research that may offer more rewarding and valuable rewards than this. A serious and calm reflection on our personal relationships can extend our ability to understand. We can see far beyond our failure to find surface defects that were fundamental defects that sometimes, they have set the tone for our lives. We have seen that the depth has its rewards - great rewards.

The next question that we can do is what we mean when we speak of having caused "damage" to others. What types of "damage" can cause a person to another? To define the word "injury" in a practical way, we can say that is the result of a clash of instincts that causes someone physical harm, mental, emotional or spiritual. If you regularly have bad temper, raised the ire in others. If we lie or deceive, not only deprive others of their property, but also emotional security and your peace of mind. In fact, we are inviting them to become contemptuous and vengeful beings. If we behave selfishly in our sexual behavior, may provoke jealousy, anxiety and a strong desire to return to the same coin.

These insults are not so far from a complete list of the damage they can cause. Consider some of the more subtle that sometimes can be as harmful. Suppose that we are stingy, irresponsible, insensitive or cold with our families. Suppose that we are fussy, picky, impatient and with no sense of humor. Suppose you are VIP a member of the family and neglect others. What happens when we try to dominate the whole family, either with an iron fist or flood with plenty of detailed instructions about how to live their lives from hour to hour? What happens when we sink into depression, self-pity oozing from every pore, and impose our afflictions in all around us? This list of damages caused to other people - damage that make living with us as egoic assets is difficult and often unbearable - can be extended almost indefinitely. When we take these personality traits to the workshop, office or any other social activity can damage almost as big as we have done at home.

Once we have carefully considered all this sphere of human relationships and have determined exactly what were the traits of our personality that harmed or bothered other people, we start recording our memory for people who have offended. We must be very difficult to identify the closest and most deeply affected. So as we review our lives year after year as far as our memory allows us to arrive, will inevitably be a long list of people who in one way or another, have been affected. We, of course, consider and weigh each case carefully. Our goal should be limited to admit the things we have done and at the same time, to forgive the wrongs, real or imagined, that we have. We should avoid extreme criticism, both ourselves and others. We should not exaggerate our defects or theirs. A calm and impartial approach will be our constant goal.

If going to jot down a name on the list our pencil begins to falter, we can gain strength and courage by remembering what has meaning for others the experience of CA in this step. It is the beginning of the end of our isolation from God and our fellowmen.


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