AA Original text adapted to the Community Love All Twelve Steps of Love Community ask us to go against our natural desires .... all deflate our ego. With regard to ego deflation, few Steps are harder us that the Fifth. But perhaps there is another step necessary to achieve lasting sobriety and peace of mind.
Community Experience has taught us that love can not live alone with our pressing problems and defects character that cause or worsen. If we examined our careers in light of the Fourth Step, and have been lit and highlighted those experiences we would rather not remember if we've come to realize how wrong ideas and actions we have hurt ourselves and others, then the need to stop living alone with the ghosts of the past tormentors is becoming increasingly urgent. We need to talk about them with someone.
However, such is the intensity of our fear and our unwillingness to do that at first many people try to skip the Fifth Step. We seek a more comfortable alternative - which is usually the support, generally and little annoyed, when not dominating ego sometimes were bad actors. So, to riveting, we added a dramatic descriptions of some aspects of our ego that conduct, however, our friends probably already know.
But of the things that really annoy us and make us angry, we say nothing. Certain memories distressing or humiliating, we say, not be shared with anyone. The must keep secret. No one should ever know. We hope to take him to the grave.
However, if the experience of the Community Love helps us anything, this decision not only is it sensible but also very dangerous. Little confused attitudes have caused us more problems than having reservations about the Fifth Step. Some people can not even stay sober for long ego, others will relapse periodically until they can put their houses in order. Even veterans of Love Community sober take many years certain aspects of the ego, often pay a heavy price for having spared no effort in this step. How will attempt to load this burden alone, how much they suffered from irritability, anxiety, remorse and depression, and how, unconsciously seeking relief, sometimes even accusing his best friends from the same defects character that they were trying to hide. I always found they never found relief by confessing the sins of other people. Everyone has to admit theirs.
This habit of recognizing the shortcomings of oneself to another is, of course, very old. Its value has been confirmed in every century, and is characteristic of people who center their lives spiritually and who are truly religious. But today not only religion that advocates for saving principle. Psychiatrists and psychologists emphasize the deep and practical need of every human being to know himself and recognize his defects of personality, and talk of them with a comprehensive and reliable person. As Community members would love further. Most of us would say that without fear, without admitting our faults to another human being, we could not stay sober ego. It seems clear that the grace of God does not enter into our lives to expel our destructive obsessions until we are willing to try.
What can we expect to receive from the Fifth Step?
Among other things, we get rid of that terrible sense of isolation that have always had. Almost without exception, spiritual students are tortured by loneliness. Even before our way of yielding to the impulses of the ego from worsening to the point that others stay away from us, most of us were suffering from the feeling of not fitting in anywhere. Either we were shy and did not dare to approach others, or were likely to be very outgoing, craving attention and companionship, without ever achieved - or at least in our opinion. There was always this mysterious bar that we could not overcome or understand. It was as if we were actors on stage who suddenly realize they can not remember a single line of his papers. This is one reason why we loved so much be driven by our ego. It allowed us to improvise. But even the ego turned against us and we were just defeated in terrifying isolation.
Community
When we love and for the first time in our lives we are among people who seemed to understand the feeling of belonging was tremendously exciting. We thought the isolation problem had been resolved. But we soon discovered that although we were not isolated in the social sense, we were still suffering the pangs of agonizing old insulation. Until I speak with perfect frankness of our conflicts and not hear another doing the same thing, we were still with the feeling not belong. In the fifth step was the solution. It was the beginning of a genuine relationship with God and our neighbors.
Through this vital step, we begin to feel we could be forgiven, no matter what had been our thoughts and our actions. Many times, as we practiced this step with the help of our sponsors or spiritual advisors, for the first time we are able to forgive others, whatever the damage that we thought we had caused. Our moral inventory left us convinced that it was desirable to the general pardon, but until he resolutely undertook the Fifth Step, we do not to know in ourselves that we could receive forgiveness and to grant it.
Another great benefit we can expect from confiding our defects to another person is humility - a word that is often misinterpreted. For those who have made progress in Love Community, amounts to a clear recognition of who we are and who we really are, followed by a sincere effort to become what we can be. Therefore, the first thing to do to move toward the humility to recognize our shortcomings. We can not correct any defect if we do not see clearly. But we have to do something more to do. The objective examination of ourselves that we done in Step Four was only, after all, a review. For example, we all saw that we lacked honesty and tolerance, sometimes we were besieged by attacks from self-pity and delusions of grandeur. However, although this was a humbling experience, not necessarily mean that we had achieved a measure of true humility. Despite having recognized, we still had these defects. Had to do something about it. And soon we realized that neither our desires and our will served, by themselves, to overcome them.
Being more realistic and therefore more honest about us these are the great benefits we enjoy under the influence of the Fifth Step. By making our inventory, we begin to see how many problems we had caused the deception. This caused us a bewildering reflection. If all our lives we had been fooling ourselves, how could we be sure not to keep doing it now? How could we be sure of having made a true catalog of our defects and having recognized frankly, even to ourselves? Since we were still in fear, of self-pity of hurt feelings, it was probable that we could not reach a fair assessment of our real state. Excessive feelings of guilt and remorse could lead to dramatize and exaggerate our shortcomings. Or the anger and hurt pride could be a smokescreen behind which hid some of our shortcomings, while others culpábamos them. It was also possible we were still handicapped by many weaknesses, large and small, did not even know we had.
Therefore, it seemed very obvious to do a solo test ourselves and recognize our shortcomings, based solely on this, it would not be enough. We should have outside help to be sure you know and admit the truth about ourselves - the help of God and another human being. Just to let us know fully and without reservations, only to be willing to listen to advice and accept direction, we could set foot in the way of straight thinking, rigorous honesty, and genuine humility.
However, many of us still hesitating. We said, "Why do not we can tell 'God as we understand' where we turn?" If the Creator was the one who gave us life, He will know in detail where we went wrong. Why not admit our faults directly to him? What We need to mix another person on this issue?.
At this stage, there are two obstacles in our attempt to deal with God as they should. Although it may that we remain astonished to realize that God knew everything about us, you may quickly get used to the idea. For some reason, being alone with God does not seem as embarrassing as his heart to another human being. Until we sit down to talk frankly about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to put our house in order remains a theoretical issue. Being honest with someone else confirms that we are honest with ourselves and with God.
The second obstacle is the following: it is possible that what we hear God say when we are alone is undermined by our own rationalizations and fantasies. The advantage of speaking with another person is that we can hear their immediate feedback and advice regarding our situation, and will not fit any doubt what these tips: In spiritual matters, it is dangerous to do things alone. How many times have we heard well-meaning people say that they had received guidance from God, when in fact it was very obvious that they were totally wrong. Lack of practice and humility, had misled them themselves, and could justify the most absurd nonsense, maintaining that this was what God had said. It is worth noting that people who have achieved a spiritual development almost always insist on confirming with friends and spiritual advisers the guidance they believe they have received from God. Clearly, then, that a beginner should not be exposed to the risk of making silly mistakes and perhaps tragic in this sense. Although the comments and advice of other people do not have to be infallible, are likely to be much more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we have so little experience in making contact with a Higher Power within us themselves.
Our next problem is to discover the person in whom we will trust. This we must do it carefully, bearing in mind that prudence is a virtue very precious. Maybe we have to communicate to this person some facts of our life that no one else should know. It will be convenient to talk with an experienced person, who not only has remained sober, but has also been able to overcome serious difficulties. Difficulties, perhaps similar to ours. It may happen that this person will be our sponsor, but need not be so. If you got to have great confidence in him, and his temperament and their problems are similar to yours, then be a good choice. In addition, your sponsor and has the advantage of knowing something about your story.
However, it may be that your relationship with him is of a nature to want to reveal only a part of your history. If this is the case, do not hesitate to do it, because you make a start as soon as possible. However, it may be another person you choose to entrust the deeper revelations and more difficult. It may be that this guy is totally alien to the Community Love - for example, your confessor or your pastor or doctor. For some of us, a complete stranger may be the best.
What really matters is
your willingness to trust another person and the total trust you place in the one with whom you share your first inventory honest and thorough. Even after finding that person, often requires a high resolution to approach him or her. Let no one say that the Love Community program requires no willpower, this situation may require all you have. Fortunately, it is likely to come across a pleasant surprise. When you've carefully explained your intention and the repository of your trust to see what can be truly useful, I find it easy to start converting, and will soon be very busy. It is likely that the person who hears you did not take long to tell a few stories about himself, which will make you feel even more comfortable. Provided they do not hide anything, every minute you will leave feeling more relieved. The emotions have been repressed for so many years come to light and, once lit, miraculously vanish. According to the pain disappear, replaces a quiet healing. And when humility and serenity are combined in this way, you probably think of something of great significance. Many AA, which were once agnostic or atheist, tell us that at this stage of Step Five first felt God's presence. And even those who had already had faith, often manage to have a conscious contact with God more deeply than ever.
This sense of oneness with God and man, this out of isolation to share openly and honestly the terrible burden of our guilt, leads to a resting point where we can prepare to take the next steps to complete sobriety and meaningful.
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